Tok Guru `Boleh Jalan Lah'!

No, this isn't my being contemptuous or insulting towards the world's most famous Tok Guru. Really;-)
"Tok Guru boleh jalan lah!" shouldn't¹ be interpreted as "Tok Guru can stuff it!". The Oxford English translation is: "Tok Guru gets a road-lah! Wow!"


Well, `lah' isn't recognised and approved by Oxford - yet. But if we Malaysians insist on using it, then maybe one day even the Queen of England (who is a regular reader of this blog) might start punctuating her sentences with `lah'!
¹shouldn't -- but then, who am I to stop you all from interpreting it as such. --- Korang tengok: sikit punya standard blog ni ye, siap ada footnotes:-)

Back to this Tok Guru matter: one of my pet hates is when well established names of places are changed. This is especially so when the new name is of a person, particularly of a living person. It doesn't matter which government is doing it: BN or Pakatan Rakyat - when you change the name for no real good reason, I get resentful and suspicious.

This renaming of Jalan Pengkalan Chepa in Kota Bharu to Jalan Tok Guru: WHY and WHAT THE HECK FOR?!

To add to this, Nik Abdul Aziz's coy and rather evasive response to the uproar that erupted from this totally unnecessary change raises a few disturbing questions about the Kelantan government and its long-serving Menteri Besar. Among them is the transformation of people who once were "fighting to propogate Islam"... to slick, nouveau rich, fat-cat politicians -- people who are now not much better than those they had replaced in 1990.

This is yet another embodiment of George Orwell's Animal Farm in the making, with one addition: the Kelantan version also manipulates Islam for its own benefit.

CAPTION: On the right in the picture - the category that was very visible during Bersih 2.0; the staple of PAS: Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present... the legendary Melayu Bingai  

The pompous and arbitrary move to rename roads in Kelantan - this road especially - is a demonstration of what PAS, the Kelantan government and its Menteri Besar have become. After 21 years in power, they are no longer the defenders of the oppressed... not by a long shot.

Most probably it wasn't Nik Aziz himself who had moved for the change: as usual, it's one of the many Kaki Bodek & Ampu in the local council or state government out to score points for himself by showing some slavish devotion to the state's Number One.

But Nik Aziz should have stepped in and killed off this toady's manoeuvring by saying "No, thank you." Instead, see how Nik Aziz tries to justify the rename: The New Straits Times reports that Nik Aziz said "the new name was chosen because he wanted to revive the role of the religious teachers or tok guru whose presence had been limited to their pondoks or religious schools."
Aww, now isn't that nice: Nik Aziz wants so badly to honour all religious teachers! But the problem is, in Kelantan and Malaysia, the name has become synonymous with... Nik Aziz. And he knows it too.

"If I had wanted to boost my image, I would have named the street as Jalan Nik Aziz or I could have named it for the road in front of my house, but I didn't"

No, he didn't... because that would have been too obvious, wouldn't it? But Jalan Tok Guru (Nik Aziz): with this one, Nik Aziz can have his cake and eat it too.

"The Return of Mat Sakit Chronic" (Cartoon Series)

Oh boy, here we go yet again! Ada sorang mamat tu, tak habih-habih hal sakit ni! Kalau dia sendiri yang tak sakit, dia bagi orang lain sakit.


Black eye, neck brace, `poisoned in prison', ankle injury, neck brace Part II, sakit kepala, sakit tengkuk, sakit lutut, sakit pinggang -- macam-macam. Kalau orang lain, dah lama mati. Don't be surprised if this mamat were to `over' and appear like this tomorrow:

Hari Sabtu lepas, dalam orang beberapa ribu tu, dia sorang yang `punya kuat sakit' sampai kena panggil ambulan; kena hantar ke hospital! Orang yang perang kat Afghanistan pun tak sampai setara tu! HAHA!

Bila orang tak tengok, dia macam ni...

Bila nampak orang bawak camera, dia tiba-tiba jadi macam ni. 

Kalau kerja pejabat, ini tentu doktor bagi MC satu bulan HAHA!

Lepas tu dia jadi gian: maklumlah, bila baca blogs supporters Pakatan Rakyat, orang expressed concern, anger... dia pun fikir: "Why not more of the same?". 

Jadi, dia suruh bini dia cari satu barang lama dalam store. 

Lepas dia bersihkan habuk, dia pun pakai --->  

Hai, rasa-rasa macam pernah tengok yang kat tengkok tu Heheh!

Ini pun satu lagi yang dia sakit. Perut tu... rasa-rasa macam ada cacing kerawit. 

(Gambar ini diambil di sebuah medical centre di Kuala Lumpur. Di belakang ialah doktor pakar bahagian sakit perut/masalah cacing  [wormtologist] hospital berkenaan) 

Tapi mamat ni - kalau dia sorang yang sakit, tak apa jugak. Masalahnya, orang lain pun `boleh sakit'... macam sorang Nescafe-boy tu.

"Keras ini macam"

Tanda Nak Kiamat: DAP Chauvinists Extolling and Quoting A. Samad Said!

At least 99.86% of the DAP and Bersih supporters don't know anything about the works of poet and novelist A. Samad Said. Or even who he is, for that matter. 


Ask Ralph Lauren Lim of Taman Ehsan, Kepong about Salina, Lantai T. Pinkie and other works in Malay literature and he'd come up with this scornful retort: "Gua talak mau tahu la itu l*nchau punya!"


But now, in their desperation to declare the rally a "big success", Ralph Lauren Lim and his buddies - who include Kelantan PAS Commissioner, Datuk Nik Aziz Nik Mat - have latched on to anything that they think might help to support their claim. Samad says (as in `Simon says'):

"I have never seen all the races in Malaysia so united in one cause before."

This, they think, is an endorsement of Bersih. BUT IT ISN'T! In fact, it is actually a damning thumbs-down of Bersih by Samad!

Now, literary and arty-farty figures like Samad aren't your ordinary everyday Mamat; what with their (sometimes put on) often eccentric and bizarre thoughts and behaviour. That's why they are kept isolated in universities and similar institutions - places where they will do the least amount of harm. Including to themselves.

Take a closer look at the statement and scrutinise it: for one thing, where is this unity of the races as mentioned by Samad? According to Wikipedia, Malays and other bumiputra groups make up 61% of the population. Let's have a look at the pictures of the demonstrators and see: there should be four non-Malays/bumiputras in any group of 10.

Unity of the races: Gian Singh Grewal (raised hand) from the Sikh Youths Association of Batang Kali leading a group of demonstrators. On the left (holding a bag) is Chong Auw Ta from the Salak South Tombstone Engravers Union. On the right is U. Kelentongsamy from the Sungai Siput Indian Association.  

Have a look at other pictures and do the above test: Do you see this 60-40 ratio?

You don't? Then what was the ratio: 70-30? 80-30? 90-10?... or was it 95-5? Well, if the ratio wasn't right, then how could it ever be claimed that the races were united in one cause?!

The truth is, Samad was having a laugh at Bersih and Pakatan Rakyat's expense... he was being sarcastic; being ironic, being purposefully paradoxical. Either this or... Samad is a liar. Take your pick.

Anyway, back to Ralph Lauren Lim: How did he find the demonstration? Was he arrested? Was he tear-gassed?

"Gua talak pergi la itu tempat. Gua masuk Twitter sama Facebook saja. Apa pasal mau pergi? Gua suruh gua punya kuda pergi... itu Melayu Bingai MUAHAHA!"

 (Pix taken from The Unspinners)

Tok Guru Nik Aziz: So Scared of... Mat Cendana?

The Kelantan Menteri Besar of 21 years, the Ketua Dewan Ulamak... someone so learned, so powerful and so influential: how could it be that he can't bear to face ME!? It's unthinkable, although I'll admit it's also quite flattering in a way.

Yeah, I know some are rolling their eyes, sceptical about this. Especially the PAS taksub (a title like this popping up at places that include Kelantan Bloggers etc is sure to bring them to investigate: "Does Nik Aziz even know you?... Ini mesti kes perasan nak mampus!"

I don't know whether he knows me or not, but someone handling his profile at Facebook sure does. And since Nik Aziz has allowed the profile, posts and updates to be there, this implicit consent means he must also be accountable for whatever is done in his name.


Now, Nik Aziz has, at last count, 528,887 `Likes' there. Compare that to my (much, much) more modest number of Friends that stand at 284 (I wonder who will be the magical #287?).

Anyway, I've been following Nik Aziz's updates there for some months now. Occasionally, I would leave a comment, which tends to be against the grain of most of the others there. And doing that, of course, inevitably leads to many people replying with angry and sometimes nasty comments against me. But that's okay with me because I "can also take".

However, this has come to an end because I've just been blocked from commenting there. Why? The only reason I can think of is that my comments there rock "the Nik Aziz boat": Nik Aziz - or at least the administrator - wants the place to be filled with only the Yes men and women... people who will only support and agree to whatever is posted there. And Mat Cendana, a proud Knight of the Demi Negara Order (not to ever be mistaken with "Umno", please), isn't one who'd oblige.

Adding to this are the people who `Like' my comments: people who disagree with some of the posts and opinions but who are too scared to comment themselves for fear of being jumped on by the zealots.

Yes, Nik Aziz has the right to include or exclude whoever he wants... just as I and everyone else at Facebook could with our own profiles. However, this action has raised a few questions.

Among other things, it shows how autocratic and super-sensitive the PAS people are towards criticism and differences in opinion. And of people (like the admin) who are using Nik Aziz's stature, position and power for whatever agendas they harbour. These are the things that I will write about now and in the future so that people can see PAS and the hidden hands for whatever they really are.

Here are the posts and the comments that led to my being blocked (you'll have to right-click and open in a new tab to see the images in full):

My comment: "Nampak sangat orang Melayu diperkudakan oleh DAP. Yang dok hasut kat Facebook, Twitter, blogs orang-orang Cina... yang berarak, yang kena tangkap 95% Melayu. Bagus betul PAS ni: sedia berkorban lawan sesama Islam & Melayu untuk orang lain."

Writing something like this, of course, led to locusts descending, with the zealots angrily `hammering me':-P I must stress here that it wasn't my intention to provoke; although I knew many would be riled. I was just "being me; being Mat Cendana: Hack Writer". Whether this is `good' or `bad', I don't really know...

Then came this one:

My comment: "Ini belum disahkan lagi. Tapi Tok Guru begitu cepat tolong sebarkan dakwaan Surendran ni. Mengapa begitu mudah untuk jadi kuda orang lain? Mengapa suka sangat tolong orang lagakan sesama Melayu dan Islam ni?"

But this is the one that infuriated the Nik Aziz admin big time:

My comment: "Asalkan pakai kupiah, jubah, ada janggut, boleh quote ayat-ayat dan guna `Ana'  sudah dikira sebagai `ulamak'?? Jelas bahawa Bersih ni perhimpunan politik - perhimpunan yang dihasut oleh orang-orang bukan Islam dan Melayu. Dan perhimpunan ni melanggar undang-undang. Bila kena tahan, apasal nak bising? Dah gatal sangat nak diperkudakan oleh DAP, duduk diam saja lah kat dalam lockup tu. Atau ANTA nak cuba menagih simpati."

Okay, it was harsh and it wasn't too polite. But what about equating "Umno" with "jahanam"? It wasn't by Nik Aziz himself, but he has to take responsibility since it was posted at his profile.

The blocking came when I couldn't comment at the post below. But that's okay because I can still paste it here at my blog:-)

My comment: "Really?? You mean it was 60% Malays 40% Non-Malays who attended?? Or was it 90% Malays? So how could it be that "all the races in Malaysia so united" as claimed? Waah: nampaknya Tok Guru pun sekarang ni dah jadi mouthpiece DAP ye. Update ni bunyi macam modal DAP dengan Bangsa Malaysia dia."

So here it is: someone with 529,062 Facebook followers (makin bertambah as I was writing this post) couldn't even face the points raised by one obscure guy from rural Pasir Mas (now in Kota Damansara, Petaling Jaya) who even has trouble reciting the Qunut during Subuh prayers! So how are the PAS people going to deal with the slick (and slimy) DAP if they were to govern Malaysia? Do the PAS people have the intelligence to do so? If they can't even handle Mat Cendana's comments and points, I doubt they ever could, simple as that.

*UPDATE 10/7/2011 8:54 AM - By the way, Haji Abdul Hadi Awang's Facebook profile has only 180,397 Likes; almost three times less than Nik Aziz's. But don't worry: as of two minutes ago, Mat Cendana is now also one of them;-)

Anwar Seriously Wounded! NATO to Launch Airstrike Against Malaysia!

See how badly injured Anwar Ibrahim is! What happened? Based on this picture and the expression on his face, it looked as if he was run down by a steam-roller!

The other possibility is... ini banyak BERLAKUN aje!

By the way, does that also mean Anwar won't be able to attend court next week to answer the sodomy charge against him? Of course he can't! How could anyone in this condition possibly be fit enough to do that! Sneaky Heheh! But to Anwar: This is modal lama laa. And for your own sake, please cut out the excessive over-acting. When you've done this once too often, people eventually catch on.

Let's also see another aspect of the socio-political scene that was inadvertently exposed by the events concerning Bersih. It's about PAS - the party that claims to fight for Islam but is shown to be a confused-cat organisation... a mere tool slickly exploited by the DAP.

But that's for later: I'm going to wash my wife's car first... in exchange for the great eggs, sausages and toast that she has whipped up for me:-)

**UPDATE 9/7/2011 7:40 PM -- I've been blocked from Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat's Facebook profile. The admin wants only the "Yes, setuju" and "You are so very great!" comments and not criticisms. Were my comments abusive? No, at the most, they were harsh. But don't worry: I'll publish them in a blog post later - judge them for yourselves.

Bingai 2.0: Tian Chua & Elizabeth Wong Ask Malays to Sacrifice Themselves

All you Melayu Bingais (picture below): Please turn up in force at the Bersih rally, face the police and sacrifice yourselves!

This is essentially what PKR vice-president and MP for Batu (Batu apa?) Tian Chua has asked you all to do. Here is his call at Twitter:

@tianchua: #BERSIH: don't run, move with a group, the more the better, help each other & face police together. U will be safer when act united

"Liar! Where did he say `Malay'?? Bersih will be attended by all races!!", someone might scream. To this, I say: "Use your head and not your kepala lutut, BINGAI" It's obvious that you are one of those suckers whom PKR assemblywoman for Bukit terLanjanG, Elizabeth Wong has conned into believing with this tweet:

"Tmrw we r not going as PKR, not PAS, not DAP, but as MALAYSIANS! Those who believe in a better Msia, support those out tmrw!"

Guess who will make up the vast majority of the Bersih 2.0 rally? Will it be a reflection of the national demographics - Bumiputeras 60% Non-Bumiputeras 40%? 70-30? 80-20?

NO, as usual, it will be the Melayu Bingai of PAS and PKR who will form at least 90% of the crowd. And, as usual, the non-Malays from the DAP and PKR agitate and provoke at the blogs and elsewhere in cyberspace... and stay safely away while the Melayu Bingai do their dirty work.

"Don't run", eh, as Tian Chua commands? Yeah, do that: do battle with the police, get hurt, get arrested... while their `brothers-in-arms' - safely at the sidelines - laugh yet again at how easy it is to get the Melayu Bingai to do their bidding. All thanks to the devious Melayu `leaders' in PKR and PAS... the voluntary baruah of the DAP who'd willingly sell Malays, Muslims and Malaysians just for a few seats more in parliament and the state assemblies.