Anwar to Join Apple Inc?

 

The makers of this classy (but hisap darah) Macintosh computer, iPod and iPhone look set to invite Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim to replace Steve Jobs as the CEO of this legendary technology company.

CAPTION: Apple OS-X

That’s the logical conclusion of the Business and Technology editors of Mat Cendana’s Blog Review, based on their interpretation of recent events (“This blog has… editors??”).

And news of this speculation by the influential Mat Cendana’s Blog Review saw Apple Inc shares trading at $209.04 – a sharp increase of $6.95 or 3.5% in the opening minutes of trade in New York.

This speculated appointment, and investors’ vote of confidence, is a big blow to former prime minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad. He had claimed that Anwar, who was his former deputy, “knows nothing about the economy”.

[Editor’s Comment: That may be true, but in business, the ability to autar is more important. Maybe that’s why Apple might consider him?]

Last month, Selangor Menteri Besar Tan Sri Abdul Khalid Ibrahim had announced that Anwar was appointed as the economic advisor to the Selangor government. Khalid said this was to “help ge-ge-nerate economic growth and increase investment in Se-Se-Selangor."

Anwar gets a fixed monthly allowance of RM1 (US 29 cents). Yearly, he will get RM12 or US$ 3.48.

Last week, Associated Press technology writer Jessica Mintz reported this stunning bit of information: that Jobs will be paid only $1 for 2009! (RM3.44)

CAPTION: “What am I going to live on?! Nasi kerabu with daging bakar is already RM3!”. Steve Jobs, on hearing the insult, mengamuk while holding a knife.

It must be remembered that Jobs was relieved of his duties as Macintosh head in 1985, before returning in 1996. This paying of only $1 indicates what Apple thinks of him as CEO.

Compare that to Anwar’s better yearly rating at US$ 3.48 – it is reasonable to conclude that Anwar will be offered the CEO post of Apple Inc… as soon as someone takes away the knife Jobs is holding.

Menteri Besar Khalid is right after all about Anwar: I believe that he can help the state government's development agenda and his qualification is unquestionable.

But will Anwar still hold the Selangor job (Job?) when he will be in charge of a company with a staggering market capitalisation of $188 billion (RM654 billion)? HOWEVER, we predict he will still want to be Prime Minister of Malaysia... even for ONE DAY. Dah muka jenis macam tuuuu…

Technorati Tags: Malaysia,Anwar Ibrahim,Apple Inc,satD,iPod

Brigadier Baba and the 40 Thieves

Aww, aren’t the RMAF people cute coming up with this statement? And doesn't it just complicate and obfuscate the matter?

After keeping quiet for more than five days since the media reported the missing F-5 jet engines worth RM50 million, the Royal Malaysian Air Force (RMAF) made a belated statement that the theft was not done by Brigadier Baba and the 40 Thieves.

Instead, the RMAF said the 41 were sacked due to incompetency issues and poor working performances .

Apa punya MANGKUK the Public Relations department... and the RMAF top brass especially! Based on the facts, there appears to have been an attempt to cover up the thefts, or at least to let the trail go cold.

Why wasn't it reported after the military police had failed to solve the case? Were they waiting for the money to be distributed and spent first?

As it is, the delay has made the matter more complicated. Attorney-General Tan Sri Abdul Gani Patail had said it would not be an easy case as it involved a range of agencies -- ministries, transport and forwarding agencies, the security network and companies involved in repairing engines.

The military police could have easily solved it last year had they really wanted to. All it required to obtain information are two feet of rubber hose... and a pair of pliers.

CAPTION: `Biggest bang for the buck’ during investigations. And these items are reusable too. The colour of the hose and pliers doesn't really matter, although some interrogators like the hose to be matching with the suspect’s skin colour at the buttocks after 20 sharp whips. The pliers... when they grip the suspect’s b…. erm, you know; they help `break the ice’ and his `shyness’.

So what will happen when the rest of our country’s jet engines and planes disappear? Maybe the Air Force will be reduced to using these... Yeah, just go out and buy flight simulation games at the Pasar Malam. After the marching drills, let our pilots train with these.

The MONKEYS holding various positions and posts in the government services and armed forces – we’ll have to be non-partisan and cooperate, plus lend mutual support to flush them out and bring these rotten scums down. 

Technorati Tags: malaysia,f-5,corruption

Janda, Ibu Tunggal & Andalusia: “Kahwin Ulamak is Good for You!”

Hark! Arise and be joyful, all thee divorcees, single mothers and old maids! For ulamaks cometh beyond your wildest dreams to take ye as their second, third or fourth wives!…ah, be thrilled, for the blessed ulamaks condescend to rescue and make thee real syiok!… Big, Strong & Friendly.

Okay, admittedly I'm not at the top of advertising agencies' list as potential superstar copy writer. And I keep remembering the Alor Star Cathay Cinema circa 1976; enjoying the cool air-cond and having my hair taking on the smell of a hundred Dunhills, Benson & Hedges and 555 while salivating at the sight of a cool drink with a Syaitan singer extolling me to "…move into the world of the long cool Dane" (or is it `Dame'?).

It's about this report in the New Straits Times of Ulama urged to practise polygamy. It's from last week, and I had intended to leave a comment at Nuraina Samad's post of Mas Kahwin and. (ahem)... Ulama but was busy with something else. However, since Kata Kama has resurrected the issue with Let's Tambah Bini, I have to jump on the bandwagon too.

Kata Kama has named the person making the call as only "a well-known tuan guru". Nuraina mentioned "Kelantan" and "Tok Guru". So Mat Cendana will have to go one-up on both by retyping who was mentioned by NST's Sharifah Mahsinah. BTW "Mimi" here is quite pretty - the genuine `hitam manis' (not `dark-skined', but trying to glamorise as hitam manis). How do I know?:-) Oh, I digress - it's Nik Aziz.

Nuraina's short post is with a neutral tone while Kata Kama is… well, if you are an ulamak, I don't recommend you being within "brick-throwing range" right now heheh. So, is Mat Cendana going to defend Tok Guru and the ulamaks by explaining the merits of it all? You gotta be kidding - and be lynched here?!

Actually, I take issue with the whole of Nik Aziz's arguments. No, not trying to please the women here - it's just that I'm amazed at some of Nik Aziz's `logic'.

CAPTION:

Non-ulamak Bung doesn't give two hoots about Tok Guru and ulamaks. Nor to the women mentioned in this post -- "
Gua tarak minat lah janda.. Gua nak glamer punya anak dara<-so to speak lah". Bung, your hands - erm, are you indicating or demonstrating something related to `just married'? Heheh!

CAPTION:
Janda, Ibu Tunggal, Andalusia like this pix?… Barangkali BERTUMBUK dan BERGIGIT ulamak dan tok lebai berebut nak supaya Tok Guru sanction dengan mereka. Gigit jarilah semua ye… Brader Bung jugak yang syiok:-)

While he said the ulamak "can play an important role in clearing the image of men making use of women", the call for ulamaks themselves to practise polygamy "because they are model polygamous husbands" is angkat bakul and perasan, plus having a kilogram worth of delusion!

This is too simple-minded and totally ignores the real world. The logic that just because an ulamak (or anyone) knows the fine points of Islam and can quote two Quranic verses and five hadith on-the-fly to support or contradict some position, he is also someone who will strictly adhere to all the teachings of Islam.

This is like saying "lawyers are the people who most strictly follow the law since they know the ins and outs of the Penal Code and the Acts"; which we know simply isn't the gospel (pun intended) truth.

In the real life world, many of the men who create dysfunctional families due to their neglect are… the lebai kampung
(the purported pious elders)! Now these are the "junior ulamaks/ulamaks wannabe" who will spew out "this haram, that haram" but aren't too hot themselves when it comes to living a spiritual life ( a BIG difference between "religious" and "spiritual").

Nik Aziz has over-estimated the ulamaks here, and he has done a disservice to Muslims, single women and their children and the community with this misguided call. This might be bizarre - ME telling a Tok Guru this:
It's the type of individual and his personal quality as a decent person that's the most important
, NOT whether he's an ulamak, lebai, prebet sapu driver or ex-Pusat Gambang inmate.

Technorati Tags: Malaysia,Controversy,Ulamak,Double-Barrel

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"Arbeit Macht Frei" – Shahrizat Tells the Poor. Thieves say “Okay, Ijat!”

For those of you who had played truant during the German Language lessons, it means “Work Will Set You Free”.

But why is Datuk Shahrizat Jalil speaking German to the poor?’

Well, she isn’t – I was `multi-tasking’ or multi-reading-RSS feeds and got confused. My head mixed up the captions from the various news stories… but I discovered that they still deliver some truth. The German is from a news report about the theft of a 16-foot-long iron sign at the entrance to the infamous Nazi concentration camp in Auschwitz, Poland.

If it’s Malaysia, then people will conveniently blame “drug addicts”. So, only drug addicts are desperate for money?..and alcoholics, gamblers, bums aren’t? The Telegraph reports that Neo-Nazi groups were immediately blamed for the act. And guess what? Some Jewish groups have condemned the theft as a "declaration of war"!

"We don't know the identity of the perpetrators but I assume they are neo-Nazis. This act constitutes an act of war," said Avner Shalev, head of the Yad Vashem Holocaust memorial in Jerusalem.

Laa! Kes besi buruk kena curi pun sampai nak perang! Talk about over-reacting! And isn’t there something in your religion about “making false accusations” aka fitnah? If it isn’t Neo-Nazis, then maybe it was the work of… MUSLIMS…?

Speaking of theft, a F-5E jet engine worth RM50 million was stolen from the RMAF airbase in Sungai Besi here late last year.  And only yesterday did the armed forced and police confirm the case.

Compared to the Jews above, ours is a case of UNDER-REACTING!… WOI! This isn’t RM50 we’re talking about! If the NST hadn’t asked, they would have kept quiet.

Arbeit Macht Frei… Work Will Set You Free. Who – the perpetrators? With that kind of money from the theft, they are now free to idle away.

Meanwhile, Datuk Shahrizat announced that 50,000 poor households – defined as currently earning RM440 and below – will receive aid in a new poverty eradication programme by the end of 2010. She said the programmes included entrepreneurial training and micro-credit facilities.

I’m glad that it isn’t a plain handout of cash but in education and training. “Arbeit Macht Frei”, folks. Provided it’s meaningful work with meaningful pay. Now, will someone hand Mat Cendana some decent work to do, please?

Technorati Tags: Malaysia,Poverty,Auschwitz

Hishammuddin: Some bloggers do not adhere to journalism ethics

Wonder where the problem is? The way that Hisham says it makes this look like it's a bad thing!

Here's what the Home Minister had said: Some bloggers, unlike local journalists, do not adhere to the rules and ethics of journalism in their bid to garner popularity, as was seen in the NST Online report.

I still can't see what the problem is: (1) "some bloggers are unlike local journalists" - Hey, that's something to celebrate!

(2) "these bloggers do not adhere to the rules and ethics of journalism" - That's the spirit, folks!... No rules, no ethics. If there is, then they would be called "journalists" instead of bloggers.

(3) "their bid to garner popularity"- Let's look at singers, actors... politicians too (something Hisham could relate to): Guess what they try to gain with all those appearances on TV and in the newspapers? Well, if they seek popularity, what's the grouse against bloggers then?

But there's one way to get more bloggers to be like journalists: How about PAYING them like they do with journalists? Only then would the government or anybody have the right to lament about things like rules and ethics that cover journalism.

MANCHESTER UTD TOP OF EPL!

Man Utd defeated Wolves 3-0 at Old Trafford with goals from Wayne Rooney, Nemanja Vidic and Antonio Valencia to join Chelsea at the top of the table. CAPTION: Nemanja Vidic’s header made it the second goal

Wolves manager Mick MacCarthy made 10 changes to the team that won against Spurs during the weekend. Apparently, he decided that Wolves stand a better chance to collect the full points against Burnley next weekend with a rested squad.

Chelsea will go back to leading by three points since they have a game in hand. However, they must win it first. Let’s hope they don’t :-)

Technorati Tags: Malaysia,Bloggers

Mati Kickdefella!.. Nik Amalina Ada Blog Sendiri!

Assalamualaikum.. Hello.. Achtung.. Ya Habibi.. WOI!! Puak demo baca molek ni – Kawe sebagai PRO, nak royak yae Nik Amalina anak Tok Guru Nik Aziz, yang suami dia Ariffahmi-Bin-Aku-Tak-Ingat-&-Malas-Nak-Check, telah mulakan blognya sendiri, Seri Suri.

[Ni nak kena charge RM400 sebab bagi publisiti]

Baru-baru ni, Nik Amalina (NA – eh, macam Narcotics Anonymous) telah hantar surat p-a-n-j-a-n-g 2,889 perkataan membela Ariffahmi dan mengutuk Sheih Kickdefella Syed Azidi kepada Ahli Parlimen PAS Kota Raja (Selangor), Dr Siti Mariah Mahmud.

Yelah – takkan pulak nak hantar ke Dato’ Shahrizat Jalil; ini dia kira MUSUH!  Tapi kalu Elizabeth Wong, Lim Kit Siang, Jeff Ooi, okay kot… sebab kira sedara lah, sehati sejiwa…  CAPTION: Screenshot blog Seri Suri. Boleh Click sini atau atas image kalau dah tak sabar nak pergi baca.

Ramai (372!) yang komen surat Nik Amalina tu, termasuk Mat Cendana yang suka menyibuk hal orang lain. Kita baca satu-dua darinya:

fendifly 27 Nov 2009 20:51 Comment:
Buat Nik Amalina, sesungguhnya amal, taqwa dan kebaikan seseorang itu tidak boleh diwarisi..
dari surat tu, yang aku boleh cakap, Nik Amalina telah curah api dalam minyak dan bawa onar terpalit ke muka ayah dia..korang cuba baca baik2 patah2 tulisan dia..
Kebanyakkannya puji husband dia dan kutuk sheikh?!
Ni x memaparkan langsung keperibadian muslimah yang elok!!
Yang lebih malang ialah, mende ‘hearsay’, seolah fitnah yang sheikh pemabuk pun nak di ceritakan..
paling giler, pasal bini sheikh pun dia nak ’selak kain’!Allahuakhbar..

Saudara-saudari boleh pergi baca dan nilai sendiri. Nik Amalina cuba nak lepaskan diri dari kesalahannya dengan cara “buat relax dan cool”. Malangnya, tak berjaya langsung. Dia kena ingat, orang-orang yang tulis dan baca blog-blog ni bukanlah yang IQ rendah.

Memandangkan beliau tak dapat nak lepaskan diri, beliau mencuba satu taktik dari zaman Perang Jepun – Cuba perlekehkan komen-komen itu: “kebanyakan komen itu boleh ditongsampahkan”, kata Nik Amalina anak Tok Guru Menteri Besar Kelantan. CAAEWAH! Dan tak payah kena jawap lah kot?

Cuba kita renungkan: Kalaulah tuduhan-tuduhan dan sifat riak terhadap Kickdefella dan isteri beliau ini boleh datang dari anak Tok Guru, bayangkan apa yang boleh keluar dari mulut/tulisan anak Tok Lebai Kampung?

… Mungkin Sheih ni dituduh “menghisap, menyuntik dan mengedar dadah heroin, morphine, candu, ganja, cocaine dan pil kuda.. Juga taukeh judi kasino peringkat dunia antarabangsa serta Yahudi Zionis George Bush CHIS!!”

Ini adalah post terbaru dari Kickdefella pada 12 Dis: Dari Bazaar Tok Guru Jadi Busut Almenantunya

BACAAN TAMBAHAN: Ini ada dua posting dari blog Tam Dalyell, tentang  Ya'juj Wal Ma'juj dan sambungannya Juj wa Ma'juj Lagi.

Technorati Tags: Nik Amalina,Seri Suri,Ariffahmi,PAS,Kelantan,Kickdefella,Syed Azidi,Tam Dalyell

Final Days of Kelantan: Dajjal, Gog Magog Surface

“The Islamic Administration; Ulamak-based Leadership; Islamic City of Kota Bharu” and whatever lofty-sounding declarations of the government that runs the state of Kelantan since 1990 – these are now just empty shells.

This is no longer the idealised Camelot; a government of the honest and the principled. In fact, there are signs of the appearance of the Dajjal and the Gog Magog elements.

PAS – This used to be so pure. But now, it’s on the way down; and this has nothing to do with how many MPs it has and how many state governments it controls. THE ELEMENTS INSIDE – these are what that decides!

This is the first part. I’ll reproduce a comment I had made at the blog of PAS Kota Raja (Selangor) MP, Dr Siti Mariah Mahmud. It’s at the post of Respon kepada penyiaran surat Nik Amalina – the letter by the Menteri Besar’s daughter Nik Amalina concerning  the controversy surrounding Ariffahmi, Kickdefella… profiteers, big money potential etc.

[COMMENT BY MAT CENDANA]

 

Mat Cendana said...

Saya di Pasir Mas, dan merupakan penyokong kuat PAS sejak 1993 apabila kumpulan Datuk Asri disingkirkan. Saya mula berminat kerana pengaruh anak saudara Nik Abdullah Panchor, yang juga sepupu kepada Nik Amar - Ustaz Arshad/Fadhlullah (dulu kereta Renault AV 101), yang merupakan rakan sekerja saya pada awal 80-an dulu.

Dan saya terus kekal kerana saya yakin PAS sajalah yang jujur mempertahankan Islam. Saya telah cuba menggunakan kebolehan yang dikurniakan Tuhan, iaitu dalam penulisan, untuk membela dan membantu PAS. Dari hujung 1990-an hingga ke 2004, saya kerap berada di Usenet newsgroups untuk cuba memberi penjelasan dan berhujah dengan mereka-mereka yang samada salah faham tentang PAS atau memang benci kepada Islam/Melayu/Kelantan.

Saya terus kekal kuat menyokong PAS... sehingga Oktober 2008. Ini kerana pengaruh Tengku KijangMas dari blog DemiNegara. Saya dapati banyak dari hujah-hujah beliau adalah amat benar. Memang berat bagi saya untuk tidak menyokong PAS lagi. Tapi, itu lah hakikatnya - ramai dari pemimpin dan orang berpengaruh PAS yang saya tidak nampak di mana kelebihan mereka kalau dibandingkan dengan Umno. Malah, sekarang ni, semakin ramai orang dalam Umno yang lebih kuat memberi sumbangan kepada Islam dan Melayu dari orang-orang PAS ini.

Dan saya amat kesal bahawa salah satu sifar negatif dalam PAS nampaknya masih kekal dan jelas - KEEGOAN & KEANGKUHAN yang kononnya "Aku lah yang lebih Islam" (mungkin sebab `aku' ni pakai jubah, kupiah dan belajar pondok).

Sebagai contoh, cubaan untuk perlekeh Sheih Syed Azidi oleh “Cucu”. Memang betul apa yang Anonymous kata - seseorang itu boleh berubah. Ini termasuk orang yang pada mulanya kuat keislamannnya DULU... boleh berubah menjadi macam syaitan. Tapi dia tidak akan sedar - bagi dia, orang lain yang `jahat' dan dia yang `baik'... atas dasar DULU.

Memang bagus jugak berlaku krisis ini. Sekarang, orang-orang yang betul-betul sayang kepada Islam dan PAS akan terpaksa lihat dengan jujur, dan tidak lagi berpura-pura "Semua Okay... Ini semua angkara fitnah Umno nak pecahbelah".

Ahmad Cendana - Knight of the Demi Negara Order

Thursday, December 10, 2009 1:10:00 PM GMT+08:00

Technorati Tags: Kelantan,Ariffahmi,Kickdefella,Nik Aziz

All that Glitters is Arak

That classic Led Zeppelin song goes: “There’s a lady who is sure, all that glitters is gold”

Segala yang bersinar adalah emas is wrong, of course. Pity then the lady here: besides gold that shines, there’s also Syed Hamid Albar’s bald pate Hahaha!

CAPTION: Wajah Zul Hassan yang bersinar setelah mendapat `sedekah’ dari China tahun lepas.

So pity, too, these people on blogosphere – Change the lyrics above to:

“There’s a moron who is sure, all that’s golden is beer…”

 

When Dato’ Najib’s picture at a dinner in Thailand was published, with a glass containing golden liquid, some people were so quick to pounce on that to raise suspicions and to insinuate.

Here’s an example: Engkau minum ape tu Najib? Sila tanya dlm parlimen!

Cheers! itulah yang tertera pada sekeping gambar yang talah dirakamkan oleh Bernama, kalau melihat pada rupa gelas, setahu aku gelas itu adalah gelas yang biasa digunakan untuk minum wine dan bukan gelas untuk minum teh..
Air apa yang Najib minum korang tengoklah sendiri...

Cukup ke setakat nak tanya dalam Parlimen? Suruh lah buat Suruhanjaya Diraja siasat, buat White Paper… Yes, the glass is usually used for drinking alcoholic beverages and not tea, as the writer says. And who knows, maybe the liquid is alcoholic.

But my point is this – Notice how quick we are to see the possibility of something being negative? Heck, I’d bet some people were actually elated to see this picture… because it “provides an opportunity”. I was wondering about this – What does that make us?… this desire to WANT to see the bad things in others or someone specific.

Right now, this fault-finding mode that many of us are in are mostly influenced by politics; specifically “Which party/alliance do you side with?”. And this leads to “Now what wrongs can I find from X’s pictures and the words he had said?”

And all the while we’ll be thinking of ourselves as “fair, objective, on the right path, in the cause of justice…” and “the other side is wrong”.

But it doesn’t take much for realignments of this `right and wrong’. People who seem so full of solidarity and proclaiming they “are united” against whatever, also smugly declare they and their allies “are fighters against injustice, corruption”.

They have their own deceitful, racist and materialistic agendas, of course, but they need each other. However, support from the others is unreliable – they’ll only receive this when the other’s agenda is on track. When something like the “Hassan Ali matter” pops up, you’ll see their real self.

Something is playing out in Kelantan too, among other matters. Take the issue of Nik Aziz, his son-in-law, Syed Azidi (Kickdefella), Husam, for example: Nik Aziz Denied Asking Son In Law To Resign

It’s interesting to see how this transpires; and the effect on the supporters of PR. If you look at their posts and comments whenever there are inter-party problems, you’ll see how fragile the PR supporters are with their support for each other’s party. And when this happens, the prejudices and preconceptions will undergo a shift.

Technorati Tags: Malaysian Politics,High Horse

Zaid Ibrahim blames A. Kadir Jasin for insomnia

Zaid telah file saman di mahkamah, sambil mendakwa beliau terima kemaluan yang besar.

Salah satu dari kemaluan itu ialah, Kadir telah mendapat 105 Comment dari postnya manakala Zaid hanya menerima 26 sahaja dan hilang deposit.

Mat Cendana was surprised to see reports of this at the online news sites.  Dato’ A. Kadir Jasin commented on this in his  blog post Senator Zaid Ibrahim Saman Saya.

However, the bigger surprise is that the suit is over a post The Scribe had written on Oct 21 - Zaid, The Hurricane Hattie Of PR.

This was one of the posts at Kadir’s blog that I had been involved in. In my opinion, this post, while certainly not flattering to Zaid, isn’t of “saman class” – heck, if this is ruled as defamation,  then we’ll see at least 10 such cases being filed at the courts daily!

Zaid had answered Kadir’s initial post – somewhat. He had dismissed Kadir as a “penulis upahan” (mercenary writer) and added (translated by Mat Cendana):

“If these allegations are made only by an Umno mercenary writer, I feel it won’t affect my sleep. Anyway, there’s not much fun in entertaining paid kids, especially those with hearts that are so rotten.”

Apparently, Zaid must have lost quite a few nights to insomnia. And when it comes to defamation and being malicious, isn’t that reference to Kadir’s heart “not of Christian Dior aroma” a lot worse than what The Scribe had written?

Technorati Tags: Zaid Ibrahim,Kadir Jasin,The Scribe

World Cup Draw: GREAT for England; but Brazil SAKIT

YAAHOO! England seem to be favoured by Lady Luck right now, and we hope this holds until after the final match of the World Cup next year.

And Chelsea’s Frank Lampard “proclaimed last night that anything other than an England World Cup win should be regarded as a failure.” (TimesOnline – Click Here for more)

Mat Cendana has a long history of supporting losers when it comes to football. My most favourite EPL team happens to be… Stoke City (Manchester Utd is second). Now Stoke’s last notable achievement was the League Cup… in 1971.

[But once a Stoke fan, always will be so. Wikipedia description: “Stoke are fans of "one of the country's most unfashionable football teams, perhaps explaining their feelings that the world is against them.”]

And locally, Kelantan’s last victory was… can’t remember – maybe it’s because there are too many Haha!

Then there’s ENGLAND – yes, I’m an Anglophile; so what about it? Unfortunately, they have been a constant source of heartache since I was an adolescent: failed to qualify for World Cup 1974 – beaten by Poland, who were considered as `second-rate’.

World Cup 1978 – foiled by Italy. When they did qualify, England served to disappoint time and again. It was the same story in the European Championships too. These incompetents had lost three penalty shootouts; having what the Chinese would easily diagnose as `SUI… SIAL’.

By the Law of Averages, it’s time for things to even out. This time they have a very good team too. When these two critical elements are present, England’s fans hope Chelsea’s John Terry will hold up high the World Cup seven months from now. The dices of Luck have rolled in England’s favour the past few days.

Firstly, 2006 Runners-up France were not a seeded team – this went to England instead, to the loud protests of the French. Padan muka, those handballing CHEATS Heheh! Plus France is a muka tak malu – Who cares about 2006?? Let’s compare the performances of France and England during the qualifications. England went through convincingly.

France might whine: “But England didn’t qualify for Euro 2008 while we did!” WOI! What’s so special about being knocked out in the first round, as France was? Anyway, when the draw was made in Cape Town, South Africa last night, England were drawn in Group C (Cendana… another petanda baik):

 

ENGLAND USA ALGERIA SLOVENIA 

BRAZIL are in a rather tricky situation in Group G (Ganas): Brazil, North Korea, Ivory Coast, Portugal

England have been warned not to be over-confident… Yes, that’s prudent. But let’s not be too humble – those are teams that England should beat while half-asleep. We can safely look to see what the second round holds.

According to Guardian Unlimited, “Fabio Capello's side could then face Australia, Ghana, Serbia or Germany in the last 16, and potentially a quarter-final against France.” So, if France think they are seeded-class, they might have the chance to prove it. But until then, Shut up, CHEATS! 

Technorati Tags: World Cup Draw,England

Tiger Wood’s (sex) Drive – A Hole in One?

WARNING: Unsuitable for Those Under 10 Years! Budak-budak berambus!

By Virtue of the Power Given to Me By Blogger.com, Acer Aspire 4315 and Celcom Mobile Broadband… I hereby make an arbitrary decision to lower the age limit from whatever it was for (alphabet)X-rated material.

Okay, let’s go to the main story. Gossip Writer Mat Cendana (Huh? Sejak bila ni? Dari `technology’ merosot ke…) has heard the latest through The Daily Beast about the fallout from the marital misdeeds of “KAYU Rimau” (for picture of a REAL Rimau, click here. Now this is NOT what you’d want to tangle with – the Rimau and the blogger). Anyway, among other things, journalist Gerald Posner mentions:

Wife offered an immediate US$5 million to take the heat off. Plus, an EXTRA $55 million added to the pre-nuptial agreement if she stays another 2 years (Read the details here at The Daily Beast)

CAPTION: Kayu Rimau and Mrs Tiger. In his heart, Tiger must be thinking, “Habih pitih aku!…Tapi buleh hole-in-one dengae tino syok jugok heheh!”

Wow! Seeing your CIMB bank account increase by RM18 million. If it were me, I’d use the money to… Sedekah. Yes, kepada anak yatim… dan janda. Well, not all, of course – after sedekah, I’ll use the balance of RM17.5 million for my needs. 

It all came to the public’s view last week after that “car crash that left Tiger Woods seriously injured” – reported by Reuters and Associated Press, which was quickly clarified by his aides and supporters as “not serious”. But it raised a few red flags including: Why was this only made known 12 HOURS after the accident? TMZ was the first to allege that “there is more”.

Apparently, Tiger has been at it (extramarital affairs) since 2007, at least. USMagazine reports that a waitress, Jaimee Grubbs revealed that they have had sex at least 20 times. And Grabs..Grubbs has even provided a frantic recorded phone call from Tiger to `cover line’.

The most recent is potential serial marriage-breaker Rachel Uchitel. After denying having an affair with Woods, National Enquirer provided proof she was lying. Uchitel then indicated she would reveal the truth. However, a phone call from Woods helped to change her mind.

And now everyone is jumping on the bandwagon, claiming they had an affair with Tiger too!… including drug addicts trying (or maybe a few succeeded?) to extract a few hundred dollars from reporters. Can’t blame these addicts. Or the reporters. I’m like them too – jumping on the Tiger Troubles Bandwagon;-)

[So… Camana? Ada bakat tak jadi gossip writer?]

UPDATE 8:54AM 4 Nov- From The Unspinners - MYSTERY: Syyy ... ada skandal seks pemimpin PAS? Bab skrew ni kami tak berapa pandai. Semalam Skrewkuat dedahkan ada seorang pemimpin kuat PAS ada skandal seks. Baca petikan bawah:Tukang Screw akan dedahkan...

 

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