Dato' Sakmongkol AK47: (kick)Boxer's Rebellion

"Hai? Ariff dah dapt Datoship..Alhamdullillah.." (SMS received on Wed 29 Oct 2008 at 4:07 PM) "Ariff" here is, of course, Sakmongkol AK47 - the former Pulau Manis Pahang state assemblyman (Adun) from 2004-08.

Mat Cendana was at home waiting to tumpang a friend to the Pasar Malam in Pasir Mas town when he received this SMS. And since it was news from an extremely reliable person, the first thing he felt was joy and elation; and this nice thought of "There is some justice in this world after all!"

Countless people have received the datukship and more in the past, but they were of no particular concern to him. There were certainly no feelings of happiness, excitement or even plain satisfaction. But there had been feelings of exasperation, anger, suspicion, disbelief and other sentiments along these lines in the past when reading about someone or other receiving an award.

But this one is different; a unique experience!

For the first time in his life, Mat Cendana shares the joy. For him, the one which Sakmongkol received, is worth ALL the datukships ever awarded to everyone else.

And especially over the one from the former centre of the glorious Kesultanan Melayu Melaka Empire now-turned-cheap pingat-factory that was given to a certain luminous actor from India because ... he was a luminous actor from India (A luminous actor from Malaysia won't be given this award. Because there is no luminous actor from Malaysia).

These datukship awards have been the subject of scorn over the years, no thanks to some dubious decisions by the selection board/panel of some states. Respect by the public of the receivers - present and past - has gone down due to questionable and undeserving people receiving them; not to mention the lorry-loads who affix this to their names and significantly dilute public perception.

Keep up with this and one day the term "Datuk" in front of a name might become synonymous with "Scumbag" in the rakyat's mind. Now that would be an affront to those who really deserve to hold the title - and there really are this breed around.

So why is this "different"... "a unique experience"? The answer is that it's the first time that Mat Cendana sees someone who deserves it AND wants him to get it. And there's yet another desire in him wanting something like this to happen: There's also a deserving DATIN from the process! Yes, in Datin Mamasita Mamamia!

Sakmongkol and Mamasita won't be getting any congratulatory messages from this post. Why? For one thing, Mat Cendana had already given this at 4:08 PM on Wednesday.

However, he is congratulating THE PEOPLE OF PAHANG. (Your selection board isn't too dumb after all)

AND THE BLOGGERS. Or at least "the responsible ones". 

AND THE READERS. Ditto.

AND MALAYSIANS. ALL Malaysians. For we now have at least one truly deserving Datuk and Datin. The reasons are already stated in comments at the post of My dear companion at Mamasita's blog.

AND TO MAT CENDANA. He loves it WHEN HE IS RIGHT!:-) And he has made ANOTHER FORECAST, in foretelling that SOMEONE ELSE will also get a Dato' award in the not-too-distant future... 

[SEE ALSO]

Lawyer Kampung: Blogger Sakmongkol is now Dato' Sakmongkol!: "Congrats to both blogging Dato' & Datin, bro Sak & sis Mamasita respectively.

Technorati Tags: Sakmongkol AK47,Mamasita,Pahang,Datuk,Malaysian Politics,Malaysia,Sultan of Pahang,SmallTalk,Lawyer Kampung

Mat Cendana goes mainstream with Michael Moore

This should be something my friends and well-wishers here and especially at the "Recovery" site will be happy about - Mat Cendana is in the newspaper! And I kid you not.

"Were you arrested for molesting someone?...kes meraba masa naik bas ke? For smuggling drugs or rice from Sungai Golok; or trying to send our subsidised fuel or cooking oil across it? Or was it for cutting some cable belonging to Telekom or TNB?"

No, unfortunately; for Mat Cendana is not glamorous nor bold enough to create or be the subject of news like Syed Azidi aka Sheih Kickdefella, Ahirudin Attan of  Rocky's Bru or remnants of the Geng Mamak. (For what it's worth, right now he is "trying to rebuild from the ground up", and in no mood to join Raja Petra Kamaruddin of the Malaysia Today fame at the Sheraton Kamunting. Nor to be harassed by some idiot from the Special Branch or CID and have his RAM-starved Acer 4315 laptop confiscated. Or be saddled with court appearances, of which he has had his share throughout life, thank you very much)

But he is just as "gila glamor" as the next guy with a blog. So, he does the next best thing - you know, something like those kids who'd go behind some VIP who is being interviewed by TV3, and put up the "Peace" sign ... and excitedly wait for the 8 o'clock news to see their ugly mugs appear on television.

Well, Mat Cendana has taken the cue from these smart kids, and has expanded on their strategy of "Tumpang sekaki" by writing about OTHER PEOPLE. This way, when these people are publicised, Mat Cendana "can be flashing the Peace sign too in the background". And when a national newspaper publishes it, you can be sure that he's as excited and gleeful as these cheeky kids are.

Thanks to the help and efforts of one kind and understanding assistant editor of The Star in Brigitte Rozario, Mat Cendana has now gone mainstream, so to speak.

In Starmag, the pullout of the paper's Sunday edition, there's a certain book review titled Ha ha ... US elections. Click to see who the reviewer is:-)

Yes, 99% of readers won't care who the writer is, but that's okay - 1% of more than a million readers is still a significant number, no? And even if they don't know about this blog that's still okay for you folks do. And you folks are the more important group for me, honestly.

CAPTION: Click on the picture to go to Wikipedia's entry about Michael Moore. Or, you may want to go to his website here.

I hope the people who read this review don't complain about it too much, seriously. You see, I have this big problem when writing - the 700 words maximum is so stifling! And there are so many things to say about this book AND the very interesting Michael Moore. Truth be told, I did two complete re-writings before I had sent the one that appeared in Sunday Star today; so dissatisfied with what I had to leave out. And it would have been THREE re-writes or more had it not been for the editor setting a deadline (They have to publish it fast since the US elections are just nine days away).

Well, I'm taking this opportunity from having my own blog here to add a few other things about this book (besides self-promoting myself, of course heheh! Muka tak malu betul saya ni, ya. But then, that's what blogs are for, right?) By coincidence, if I were to write a book about "Malaysian Politics", this would be the type that I'd do - something like what my favourite Malaysian author Amir Muhammad had done with his "Malaysian Politicians Say the Darndest Things".

The fact that the US elections are just around the corner should make this book particularly pertinent for us Malaysians. It's true that we could surf the Internet and have access to the latest reports about Barack Obama and John McCain etc. However, it's also interesting to know what the US people think about all this; and this is where the book helps.

Some people might be put off by what they'd think as "unsophisticated and lacking intellectualism" from this book and author (the book's cover screams of "Not serious"). Yes, it's true that Moore does not have a university degree - he dropped out before completing his course. But then so did Bill Gates. And do we give the cold shoulder to the products made by the company he had founded?

And Moore is more than qualified to write about "things American". If a very successful filmmaker of his stature isn't qualified, then who is? Only the stuffy socio-political professors from Ivy League universities then? Moore does have his strengths; chief among them is his ability "to feel the American pulse". This is, after all, someone from a blue-collar background - his father and grandfather were automobile factory workers - AND the upper cream financially (after he made it big with his films). Moore, too, was a journalist prior to being a filmmaker, so he has the writing craft enough to put across his views. With these in mind, he has what it takes to be "a voice of America".

"But the US elections is so near... Won't it be a waste since this book will then be "basi" (expired)?" Well, I did get my copy for free, and I don't know what it costs in the bookstores here. But in my opinion, no; for there are many things in the book that deal with "the American psyche", and  issues that won't be resolved yet no matter who wins the presidency and the Congress seats on Nov 4. And the best thing is this one - Moore's wit and perspective. Now this one is priceless, and something that I'll refer to again and again in my own dream of "writing something like Amir Muhammad and Michael Moore".

Technorati Tags: Malaysia,Malaysian Politics,Cendana Blues,Recovery from Drug Addiction,The Star,Michael Moore,Mike's Election Guide 2008,Brigitte Rozario

Changes to Cendana Blues

6,900 hits in five weeks and achieving PageRank 3 in Google after three weeks - this is the current status of this blog. "That's chickenfeed!", some might scoff.

Yes, it is - for sites like Rocky's Bru, Susan Loone, Kickdefella, and maybe with the up-and-coming Sakmongol AK47 and Demi Negara. And let's not even mention Tun Mahathir, Anwar Ibrahim and Lim Kit Siang - they should exceed this number within a couple of hours or so.

But for a total unknown, this is massive! Let's not compare apples with oranges - heck, I probably am neither apple nor orange but duku ... a `different kind'. For "a graduate of Gambang and Pengkalan Chepa", and one with not-too-savvy knowledge of politics (but still having the cheek to write about it), getting this kind of readership is something I and "my peers and supporters" are proud of. And I thank all you folks for giving me and my humble site here the time of the day.

CAPTION: Most might shun and recoil. But this leads to "sacred ground" for Mat Cendana, seriously. Click on the picture for a satellite image of "a most influential and special place where he discovered many answers to Life" Pix courtesy of En Nazmi and his wife Sherry.

As many of you would know, this blog is an extension of my first one, Recovery from Drug Addiction - a site that I hope to be "on things spiritual, and of what I aspire to be and to share, based on the past experiences of failures - and successes". I certainly do not want to contaminate it with anything that hints of controversy, which might create bad-blood - and writing about politics stands a strong chance of resulting in this.  

But at the same time, I too am like the rest - I'm interested in current issues too. And I can't keep my big mouth shut when it comes to certain matters. That's why this site was started - for the "everything else" in my life. And the "everything else" also includes this pesky thing that is nonetheless critical - the need to support myself and my family.

Call me choosy but I'm not particularly keen to be a security guard at some supermarket or at the depot for repossessed cars at Jalan Kuala Krai in Kota Bharu. Nor a fuel-pump attendant at the Shell station at Jalan Lemal, Pasir Mas, nor a factory hand at a sawmill factory in Tanah Merah; with due respects to all who indeed are. Nor to sell pil kuda or morphine, or such similar `work', profitable they might be. [Update 24 Oct 4:45AM] - I had just seen this generated link at my other blog, and is quite interesting and relevant to this post. It seems to verify my sentence below. It's about someone "who once had a lot of money selling drugs, and what later became of him": THE (EX) BIGGEST HEROIN DEALER IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD

I am convinced that the "pintu rezeki" accorded by God is "luas" enough without the need to engage in this last one; and that I should try my best to "find it". I want to create a job for myself; of doing things that I like to do, and getting something from that. And having this site is one of my attempts.

The advertisements you folks are saddled with here are part of "my plan". I hope they aren't too obtrusive. They certainly add to the page's size, but I had feedback from a couple of readers with a Streamyx connection who had said "this site doesn't take too much time to display". That's a relief. Hmm, maybe I should pile on more advertisements then? Heheh! Just kidding...

Well, anyway, a few positive things have happened. No, I'm not making enough from these adverts yet to even pay the RM68 Celcom connection. But the number of hits and Page Rank has opened up a new opportunity, for they have qualified me to write a few sponsored posts gained through a local Internet advertising company. It won't be much, but at least it'll become part of the revenue stream that I'm trying to create. Which brings me to the post's subject matter...

"Technology, the Internet and Cyber Stuff" - these are things that I'm also interested in. I had been thinking of starting yet another blog specifically for this but for one obstacle - I'll be spreading myself thin and may not have the time to maintain three sites properly. So, strange that it might be, this socio-political blog will also have tech-related posts. I don't know how readers will see this, tapi tak cuba tak tau, kan? And one thing that I'll definitely do is this - I hope these posts will be useful, interesting and beneficial to all.

Stay tuned.

Bunglers in Nurul Huda's rape and murder

Remember the Nurul Huda case?... that horrifying incident in Jan 2004 where a child was raped and then strangled to death at a TNB power-station? Well, the person responsible for it won't be hanged. Nor will he be given any stroke of the rotan. And not too far in the future, he'll be freed to rejoin us as an esteemed member of society.

Sexual abuse and violence towards children - this is one of the things that will definitely make Mat Cendana mad. And he is FURIOUS and in the mood to lynch someone right now, after reading this in the New Straits Times:  NURUL HUDA MURDER CASE: Acquitted on grounds of insufficient evidence.

"Citing incomplete investigations and insufficient evidence, the Federal Court yesterday set aside the murder conviction and death sentence on a former security guard accused of murdering a 10-year-old girl four years ago."

CAPTION: The guardhouse where Nurul Huda (inset) was raped and murdered. A policeman holding the victim's bicycle (Pix from NST)

So that mean the accused Mohd Abbas Danus Baksan, who was a security guard at that TNB power-station, and was involved in the kidnapping, rape and murder of the child, will not be hanged. Yes, will still has to serve a 20-year jail sentence after pleading guilty at the Johor Baru Sessions Court for raping Nurul Huda Abdul Gani.

But he won't receive any of the 24 strokes of the rotan meted by the sessions court. Why? "Because he is now 52"! The law spares those 50 and above from this - and despite the fact that Abbas was 48 when he committed the crime.Isn't that just convenient and `great' for him!... something that he'll be "bersyukur" (grateful) for, I'm pretty sure.

CAPTION: Orang yang `amat bertuah dan beruntung', Abbas. Kidnap, rape and murder of a child ... and he'll be freed soon

As reported in NST, "the Federal Court yesterday allowed Abbas' appeal on the grounds that the prosecution could not adduce sufficient evidence to implicate him in the crime. Judge Tan Sri Zaki Azmi, who delivered the unanimous judgment, said there appeared to be a third person at the crime scene."

So Abbas will serve 20 years in prison then? NO, NOT EVEN THIS!

Under the "old system", convicts were eligible for a one-third remission of their sentence for good behaviour. That means Abbas would be set free after around 13 years 4 months - 2017. But we now have the "parole system" - he'll be eligible after serving half of that. This means he'll be out as soon as ... 2014. He will miss the 2010 South Africa World Cup, but he will be able to enjoy the next one.

So where are those ` liberal types' who are against capital punishment - they'll be pleased, I'm sure, that "no one will be hanged" in this case. So, to celebrate, why not invite Abbas to stay over at your homes with your family during the World Cup 2014? After all, "he would have served his time" and "should be given a second chance"... Any takers?

And what do the victim's family members think about this? NST has followed up with 'We thought he had already been hanged' ... "The girl's father, Abdul Gani Juni, was so distraught that he declined to speak to the New Straits Times." Inspector-General of Police Tan Sri Musa Hassan also said police won't be reviewing the case (they have better things to do, I'm sure) ... This is not a good day for "Justice in Malaysia".

(In dedication to "My noble friends `and family' in Kuantan, who have given *me* a chance ... I will remember you all")

RAM is `Kambing specialist' or the Computer one?

Reporters and editors at the New Straits Times appear to be "in Pink Floyd mode" from the excitement (or "worry", depending on their allegiance) generated by the changing of the guards at NSTP group. A look at one of yesterday's items shows proof of A Momentary Lapse of Reason being played as background music in Jalan Riong.

CAPTION: Iron beds yang nampak macam nak sama dengan`charpoy' yang budak Pusat Serenti Gambang guna. Rows of beds on a beach?! This is another example of the term "Floydian humour" 

YES INDEED, the world is in for a rough ride ahead due to the economic turmoil. But have no fear for NST is here! (they rhyme... that's good - this will help Mat Cendana's efforts to win the Pulitzer Prize for his pioneering work that intends to take journalism to new heights [or "depths", as envious detractors claim] with his "cutting-edge, off the edge, supposition-equals-fact, ethics-equals-sissies" brand of nonsensical speculat.. err reporting.)

Anyway, But have no fear for NST is here! (narcissistic in repeating. If you aren't Pulitzer-class as Mat Cendana is, don't do this) And NST is a paper expected to go out of their way to seek out the very best, the most savvy, the grooviest (I smell bell-bottoms) financial tips from assorted specialists to enlighten us - lost and hapless souls in near despair. Nice fellows these NST people are, seriously. Unless when some Umno interest is at stake, that is. Which is often.

Folks, if I were you, I'd print and photocopy at least 10 of it; plus save and backup the file to a pendrive, diskette, external hard disk, DVD and also upload it to at least two online storage sites. So how are we going to survive this impending financial crisis? ("NST has the answers?! Thank God! Quick! Our faces are turning blue!...can't stand the suspense of knowing this astounding discovery! These specialists have all those economics and financial theories, have access to supercomputers and know how to make 10-coloured pie charts. They must surely know! What's the secret that will see us through?!")

Here it is, people; the Holy Grail, our salvation in facing the possible economic turmoil and bedlam: "Don't make unnecessary purchases but don't stop spending. If everyone stops spending, it won't be good for the economy." ...

... Financial crisis: Be frugal but don't stop spending says the group chief economist of RAM Consulting Services, Dr Y (Thoughtfully, Mat Cendana hides the doctor's name, on realising the lost and hapless souls above will turn into "vengeful and wild savages" ... organise a posse and lynch poor Dr Y for being "loyar buruk". Same name as "that seller of handphones" too. Hmm...)

CAPTION: Okay, masa untuk Kelas Bahasa Inggeris - [RAM] - Sebutan BUKAN macam "RAMlah RAM", ye; tapi `yang satu lagi tu'. "RAM" macam dalam gambar ni ialah: Noun (A) A tool for driving or forcing something by impact; ATAU (B) Uncastrated adult male sheep ... Wah, sampai melompat-lompat dia, ye. Ngapa nampak macam `smiling' jer RAM tu? ("CHEGU, `Uncastrated' ni gapo?"  JAWAPAN CHEGU: "Dia srupo puak-puak oghe jantae hok baru lepah prikso tingkatae limo ke atah sampai umur nak dekat-dekat Tok Ayah puak-puak mu. Kat stesen bah Pasir Mas, ramai hok jenih ni tubik hari Sabtu. Silap-silap hari bulae, esokkae harhi Ahark tu, keno gi Mahkamah Syariah dengae biri tino... Molek "castrate" baru padae muko...")

[RAM] Satu lagi makna "RAM" ni ialah: "The most common computer memory which can be used by programs to perform necessary tasks while the computer is on; an integrated circuit memory chip allows information to be stored or accessed in any order and all storage locations are equally accessible" Ni aku nak buat lawak, jadi semua GELAK lepas ni, ye? "Does Ramlah Ram know the insides of a computer, and does she have enough memory of it?" Haa, gelak, gelak... Ada lagi, makna "RAM"ni, tapi aku tak nak ajar dah ... sebab korang tak bayar yuran. Kemarin aku pergi beli biskut MARIE Munchy`s RM3.50, korang ingat tokeh Cina tu bagi free ke?! Post diserahkan kembali kepada Mat Cendana...

Let's see the prognosis again: "Don't make unnecessary purchases but don't stop spending." Well, Mat Cendana had failed in his HSC Economics the first time, then obtained only a Subsidiary in the STPM Pengajian Ekonomi (and that was because he had copied the answers from the girl sitting in front in the objective paper), and "Tak Hadir" in the third (`more respectable' than "Gagal"), BUT that sentence is contradictory and doesn't make sense! It's either one or the other - It's even worse than "Shop till you drop" (At least there's a "Stop" here).

If this is the chief economist, I dread to think what the underlings are like! "Don't stop spending" ... Folks, gotta find new ways to get the cash out of the wallet, ATM machine, inside the pillow and GET RID OF IT! New `necessities' must be created... Dr Y: This "spending" part sounds fun and tolerable enough, but there's a small problem - this `paper thing'; they don't grow on rambutan trees, you know. Oh, okay - credit cards, pawnbrokers, Ah Long, bribes, steal, rob... Folks, Dr Y is probably a Zionist/Jewish secret agent jealous of Malaysia, and wants to destroy the country's economy by making everyone broke!

I have the strong suspicion that at least one of these - Dr Y, the reporter, the sub-editor (supposed to do the checking) or/and the editor was drunk or/and had taken drugs! Given the circumstances, it was probably the "Pink Floyd mode" people at Jalan Riong.

What is this "RAM Consulting Services"? This calls for an investigation ... "Err Mat Cendana: It's `Ratings Agency Malaysia', perhaps?"

NO it isn't! The fact is, NST was taken for a ride by the reporter! The company's name was obvious enough. It's most likely just that - an agro-centric company that specialises in the rearing of goats, sheep and such!

And what business does a doctor have in being made the chief economist?... sure, these people can talk stuff about what that organ nearest your stomach is called; or how much vitamin C we should take, BUT NOT about financial and economic matters!...they'll only look clueless and ignorant. See what he also says: "... people could car pool, postpone buying that extra car and travel domestically."

My point proven. Now this guy is way up there in the clouds. It's as if the vast majority of Malaysians were travelling to Sydney, Seoul, Kashmir, Milan and Miami! And many people's "first car" is actually a "Honda Ac-Cub"!

That's what you get when a reporter quenches his thirst with that golden liquid that's not Teh-O Beng when on the job! I'm going to lodge a complaint with the paper's boss - Kalimullah Maseerul Hassan. He will call... Oh, I forgot... Well, Dr Y - Lucky Mat Cendana had seen this and had alerted everyone to the mischief that would have happened had they actually followed your prognosis.

So let's end this post with two quotes that are from a real  economist in John Maynard Keynes (Lord Keynes) (1883–1946)  "An English economist, whose ideas had a major impact on modern economic and political theory as well as governmental fiscal policies"

"There is no harm in being sometimes wrong — especially if one is promptly found out." (1933)

"Words ought to be a little wild for they are the assault of thoughts on the unthinking." o New Statesman and Nation (15 July 1933)

&&& END &&&

UPDATE 17 Oct 3:48PM - From Raman of Silverfish Books: 

The editors of Asiatic invite writers in the region to submit their creative works -- poetry, short stories and drama -- for consideration for publication in the journal. Manuscripts are considered throughout the year and vetted blind by two readers before publication. For details, visit the journal's website at http://asiatic.iium.edu.my.
Submissions to and enquiries about the journal should be sent to mquayum@gmail.com or asiatic.iium@gmail.com.

---

UPDATE 14 Oct 1:15PM - Thanks to the blogs of Sharon Bakar and Amir Muhammad for bringing to attention news about a NATIONAL SHORT STORY CONTEST from Eric Forbes:

27 October 2008 - 31 March 2009
In Support of Malaysian Writing in English

MPH Group of Companies has collaborated with Alliance Bank Malaysia Bhd as our main sponsor and the Malay Mail as our official media partner to create a national short story prize in support of the arts and to encourage Malaysian writers to showcase their literary talents. The Prize is also supported by the Reader's Digest, Seventeen Malaysia, Discovery Channel Magazine, The British Council, the National Library of Malaysia and the Ministry of Culture, Arts and Heritage. [CONTINUE...]

UPDATE 14 Oct 9:46 AM -  Paul Krugman Wins the Nobel Prize for Economics

The Antics of Husin Lempoyang: Sharon Stone Tidak Boleh Di Rekomen Dato Oleh Ali Rustam

Knights in rusty armour - Coming to Umno's rescue?

Some of these people who `selflessly' offer themselves as candidates for the top Umno posts (PeeWiit!) - Do they have a looking-mirror at home?... sebab macae tak tilik muko dulu nih. 

These posts as Umno President, Deputy President and the three Vice-Presidents - judging from the type of people putting themselves up as candidates, these posts certainly look like "Cheap Sale Class"

Now that Abdullah Badawi has announced he will not seek to defend the president's post, the person said to be "the best man" to replace him is ... Najib Tun Razak. If this is the very very best that Umno has, then God save Umno and US.

The Deputy President's post will see luminaries like these: Zahid Hamid(i) `Gurkha' (hey, he himself  had said it), Muhammad `Australian cash-and-carry' Mat Taib and Shahidan Kassim.

And one noble, self-sacrificing type from Pekan, Pahang - the altruistic type who wants nothing more than to give all of himself to serve the party and country as Vice-President. Ladies and gentlemen, let Mat Cendana present ... eh, apa nama dia tu, Sakmongkol AK47? Punya anonymous, sampai tak ingat.

CAPTION: Man-from-Pekan who is definitely of Umno vice-president quality, given the candidates for President and Deputy President. This means Mat Cendana, `a graduate of the Gambang Institute', looks qualified for a seat in the Supreme Council (CLICK on picture for a *very*  simplified version of "Don Quixote" at Google Books)

(Untuk yang tak tahu sikit-habuk tentang "Don Quixote" ni, CLICK kat sini untuk ke Wikipedia. Kat atas gambar pun boleh jugak. Jangan perlekeh bila korang tengok "Children", ya. Kalu nak mudah faham, baca yang ni. Yang `ori' punya tu dalam 1,000 mukasurat. Link kat Project Gutenberg ada sini dan di bawah. Haa, hari ni kira aku buat Kelas Kesusasteraan Inggeris/Sepanyol untuk korang. Erm, bila korang nak bayar YURAN? Nombor akaun bank kan ada kat tepi tu...)

I'm in awe and my eyes are welling up at the thought of this line-up: President (and Prime Minister of Malaysia) - Najib Tun Razak; Deputy President (and Deputy PM) - Zahid Hamidi; Vice-Presidents (and Federal Ministers too, no doubt) - Pekan-What's-his-name (Defence Minister candidate. `Someone' needs a placeholder to squeeze commissions from the future purchase of... I dunno, Chinese Silkworm missiles, Polish tanks and C4 at inflated prices, perhaps). Caption: Shard Mirror - Please give one to your favourite deputy and vice-president candidates. And a torchlight, so that they can "suluh muka sikit"

And speaking of mirrors, Husin Lempoyang has a few to sell in his Sebelum Jadi "Beroke", Tolong Hantaq Cermin Kat Di... Ada dalam kamus Dewan Pustaka Malaysia dan Oxford ke ni, Sin?... kalu "Broken", orang putih; "Beroker"; "Broker"; "Berok keee..." 

Oh, there are two other vacancies. Where, oh where can we find people willing to suffer themselves; to selflessly `mengorbankan diri demi untuk kebajikan bangsa, agama dan negara'? (the favourite line of Filem Negara Malaysia, RTM and Malay newspapers - an ominous sign the person mentioned is actually a worthless bum, but with control over the media).

Look no further than Mat Cendana's state: Welcome to Marlboro Country (or "Bulae Hijau-Putih Ngambae Country"). What we have here is "the Knight of knights", and he has the name to prove it: Tan Sri Dato' Seri Panglima (PeeWiit!) Haji Annuar Bin Musa.

Caption: Don Annuar de la Ketereh (with lance), his loyal Sancho Alwi, and Kelantan `Umno heads'. Erm, what happened to the Mercedes formerly at the BPR HQ?

Mat Cendana (who detractors say probably has links to Mossad and Zionist groups. But is not paid by them, which is unfortunate for him) intercepted this SMS from The Ketereh Knight of the Rueful Countenance to assorted Kelantan Umno heads:

Dgn rendah diri saya Pohon diusahakan beberapa bhg mencalunkan saya naib presiden..mewakili pantai  timur dan 5 negeri di bawah pembangkang

How nobler could anyone else get! Now here is a real man - someone who will represent SEVEN states all by himself on his mighty shoulders!... five states under the `Pembangkang' (err, BN/Umno are the opposition here, but let's not let facts interfere with this) - plus Terengganu and Pahang too. Umno is getting a real bargain here!

And our Panglima is more than qualified, of course: He is the Umno chief of a state where Umno had lost in the past FIVE general elections! Yup, you can't get anyone with more experience than that!

So what will he do when he's a vice-president? Well, he'll teach the remainder states how to lose he next general election, for one thing. 

Caption: Panglima de la Ketereh who thought he would be Federal Minister (but lost. And no more chance of `backdoor listing' as a senator because...Eh, korang jawap sendiri-lah!); and loyal sidekick Alwi Panza who thought he would be Menteri Besar (never mind Awang Adek)

This is one `pahlawan' and `knight' who had thought "being rude and behaving like a jerk and thug with the revered Tok Guru Nik Abdul Aziz in the previous State Assembly would have won him praises and accolades from the Kelantanese". Not to mention of some dubious dealings when he was a federal minister. But he's a lot more humble now (just in case some Umno members remember). Here's the remainder of his SMS:

Saya sedar kekurangan yang ada namun percaya dan berhasrat utk terus berjuang setelah 18 tahun menjadi ahli MKT

Awww, isn't that sweet? So what if he has "handicaps and weaknesses" (the others mentioned are probably a lot worse). And after 18 long years of service in the Supreme Council - including as the defender of Dollah Badawi when the latter was finally told off during a meeting - Annuar de la Mancha Ketereh now wants to continue with this ... but at a higher level. Let's all give it to him, shall we? He's good company with the rest mentioned above I'd say - all birds of a feather.

So go ahead, Umno dudes. But if these are the best that you folks have; well, Mat Cendana  and a few million others are just going to stick with PAS, PKR and Pakatan [Official End of Post]

Don Quixote: (From Wikipedia) - Published in two volumes a decade apart, Don Quixote is the most influential work of literature to emerge from the Spanish Golden Age and perhaps the entire Spanish literary canon. As a founding work of modern Western literature, it regularly appears at the top of lists of the greatest works of fiction ever published [Download e-Book at Project Gutenberg]

*Note: This Post is dedicated to `American Asian' David R in Seoul, South Korea. On 30 May 2006, while in Gambang, this writer had received a parcel with expensive books and magazines from Mr R. They included "Don Quixote" (The Modern Library) (1185 pages) by Miguel de Cervantes; Translated by Tobias Smollett; Introduction by Carlos Fuentes

["Mat Cendana, Where is `Kickdefella Part 3 - Waiting for the Worms'?" ANSWER: (1) Hold on; I have to oblige Elviza Michele of Write Away with something first (2) Hold on; I have to service a more important site - Recovery (3) Hold on; I have to do work that would bring in money first (4) There might not be a Part 3, but maybe something else. Like "Kijangmas - Stormbringer (Deep Purple)" or "Damn Kelantanese running all over the place!"

["Hey Mat Cendana: That school badge that you're having in place of a picture of your ugly face - it's a school in Alor Star-lah!...NOT Kelantan!"]

Kickdefella Part 2: Temple of the King

"Nowadays, since my brother Raja Petra Kamaruddin is no where near his faithful PC, I have been receiving more and more information and it came even from those within the corridors of power." (By Sheih aka Kickdefella 2 Oct)

The allegations and insinuations in this post came after another sizzling post by Sheih on the day before Hari Raya. And this one was a confrontation with the Prime Minister and Umno President, no less - We Know What Dollah Does This Raya

Outstanding! For how many could - or would - create a showdown with the Number One and Number Two; and all within two days?

Well, Mat Cendana and six dozen others could try; and with exactly the same allegations and points too. But neither Badawi nor Najib (or Rosmah; doesn't matter) would even notice. So there goes the hoped for showdown... Caption: King Raja Petra Kamarudin's Excalibur awaits the next Malaysia blogger king to pull out. Rocky Bru has declined, Susan Loone can't be queen `cos she's not blue blood enough, while Mat Cendana ... is too featherweight skinny. Click on pix for something about the legend of Camelot

And to add insult to injury, maybe not even their aides would notice our allegations! Maybe except the lowest in the Putrajaya pecking order - the ones called "Botak" at the pusat serenti, and are so desperate to make a name for themselves.

Yes, "not many" could create this public attention and showdown with the highest of the land. The king of this "One showdown a day keeps the blues away" in that GREAT "suka cari gaduh" Raja Petra Kamarudin (RPK) - someone who probably had even more devoted subjects in blogworld than former premier Tun Dr Mahathir - has been exiled.

And the next-in-line blogging blue bloods aren't keen to take up the crown and throne. The most obvious is, of course, "The People's Hero" Ahirudin Attan of Rocky's Bru. But he - wisely perhaps - would have none of it. So he's happy enough when a Kelantanese - who is not Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah but still with the pedigree - could be ushered to the Temple of the King

Caption (below): "Temple of the King" is in the first album of Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow - one of Mat Cendana's favourite bands, that include Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Uriah Heep and Pink Floyd. [] A bit of good old-fashioned `mengumpat' and `mengutuk' here: After RPK's arrest, some of the `perasan' [presumtuous] blogging provincials and peasants who obviously aren't looking-mirror owners, do make rather desperate attempts to usurp the throne by trying "to fill in the void with their selves". They did manage to achieve something - making cheap imitations of "RPK Lite" or "Mini RPK" and spotlighting themselves as pathetic fools HAHA! Tak baik aku dok sindir dan perlekeh demo ni dok? Tapi nak buat lagu mana, benda depae mato)

And so here he is now, ready or not: Sheih aka Kickdefella is the main contender for the throne - the Malaysia Blogger King ... and his coronation will be at the Temple of The King. Or Sheraton Kemunting. But either one.

"But what do the other princes and dukes think and say?... the Malay royalties, the Chinese and Indian Kapitans of Blog Malaysia? Will they accept this Kelantanese`Tok Seh' as their king?"

Blog Malaysia is divided. But it was already so even when King Raja Petra Kamarudin still had a keyboard to punch, with different dukedoms refusing to acknowledge his sovereignty - especially ALL the Right, Centre and Liberal wings-cum-dukedoms of Umno.

But with Sheih, seemingly tacit endorsement has come from the Grand Duke Rocky Bru: "To prove that they are not just a concoction of someone's wild imagination, Sheih will have to susbtantiate those allegations. Knowing him, I'm sure he would."

However, the Umno dukes especially aren't happy, and they are plotting to see that Sheih does not make it to the temple. Among their powerful dukes is the undisputed Big Dog. And he has allied the lords and earls under him with his post of What agenda is Kickdefella up to this round? 

Caption: Will Sheih be coronated as King? How will he fare against the Umno dukedoms of Blog Malaysia? Or is Sheih ... just a pretender?

And the Umno Centre to Liberal Wings - what do they say? Maybe their strongest duke in Sakmongkol AK47 has given a few clues with his kickdefella-the arrogant, philippic,maudlin and confessional spins AND Hired Assassins from Mediaworld

And the Chinese and Indian dukedoms? We shall see what their hollowed chambers in Malaysia Today and Susan Loone say about Syed Azidi aka Sheih aka Kickdefella.

Don't forget: "What about ... Mat Cendana?" (Hey, it is his site here; so he gets to put in a shameless plug for himself, no?). Well, Mat Cendana right now is a Ronin - a Samurai without a master (something like that Robert De Niro film with the same title) Or, maybe he is ... Conan the Barbarian - prophesied as he who would one day be King... Yahoo! Best-nyaaa! Oh ya: Kalau korang TAK SETUJU atau TAK SUKA, nak korang yang jadi HERO (macam aku buat diri sendiri), buat-lah blog sendiri ... daftar adalah PERCUMA:-)

THERE IS A PART 3 of Sheih aka Kickdefella titled: Waiting for The Worms. YOU might be in it! (RSS this site ... "COMING SOON!")

Update: Sheih aka Kickdefella comes back to Kota Bharu from Johor last evening, and finds his house RANSACKED! Gasp! Was the Holy Grail and Chop Mohor - both needed for the coronation - stolen?! Well, Mat Cendana has this to say: "I wasn't anywhere near Kota Bharu, and I have witnesses! I'm also willing to `Sumpah' in a mosque ... in front of Najib!"

Update: Sheih has come up with a post titled I Am No King, I Am Just The Last Pawn And you'll see why to "some top leaders" this last pawn is so dangerous...

Update 7 Oct: "Mat Cendana, WHERE is Part 3?? Will you get off your back and send it in!" Okay, I had spent most of the day sleeping. Letih lah. And had missed the opportunity to meet with Arep who will go back to Tawau on Wednesday. Plus had kept the latest post at the "Recovery" site dangling. And Part 3 might be held off because I've received an interesting SMS concerning Pahlawan Annuar Musa... Stay tuned.

Update 8 Oct 12:17AM:  There's a very good blog that I've RSS here - Kijangmas: Demi Negara. He has made an excellent post titled "Unraveling the RPK Mystique", and has drawn all sorts of comments. And when I say it's "excellent"... BTW one does not have to agree with what he says there. But please appreciate the guy's intellect...

Kickdefella & adamantine-class bloggers': Ada martyrdom-class material ke?

It seems that Malaysia's blogworld does not lack martyrs despite the recent incarceration of the iconic Raja Petra Kamarudin (RPK); the kingpin of the popular alternative media source Malaysia Today.

RPK was the unofficial `godfather' and standard bearer of no-holds-barred, evidence-you'll-see-another-time `journalism' with hordes of admirers, supporters, emulators, imitators and copycats among the Internet-connected population.

He was the gadfly of the Umno-controlled Barisan Nasional federal government and assorted authorities. And someone with very powerful enemies; not least in the form of deputy Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak. Needless to say, many are happy to see him taken out of circulation.  Caption: Allegations by RPK about the Altantuya murder had most likely brought about the ISA detention order. "adamantine" - 1.Consisting of or having the hardness of adamant 2. Impervious to pleas, persuasion, requests, reason [Off-topic: Ni aku turut nak buat kelas Omputih kat blog aku ni selain dari kita baca hal politik. Sikit hari lagi, aku tambah subject "Blogging for Beginners and the Pandai Sikit-Sikit" ... sebab aku sekarang jadi member dengan dua-tiga orang yang aku kenal kat BlogCatalog. Macam AswaniS/AKS, techie di India]

And now, hot on RPK's heels comes Kelantanese "Sheih" aka Kickdefella; bent on testing the strength of the hair that holds the Sword of Damocles hanging over his head in particular. Caption: Click on pix for enlarged image. So what is this about the Sword of Damocles? Kalu demo nak tau crita secara ringkas, click kat sini.

For Najib - and to the exasperation of his retinue of supporters -allegations pertaining to persons, circumstances and events surrounding the murdered Mongolian model Altantuya Shaaribu would just not go away. If they had thought these  would be muted with RPK "in safe custody" and without a laptop and Internet connection within reach, there's at least one other blogger they need to contend with.

Sheih may not be at RPK's level nor have his reach, but he is another big-name blogger in Malaysia's cyberworld. And one who is probably fifth, just behind Ahirudin Attan of Rocky's Bru, when it comes to the Internet public's familiarity in Malaysia's Top of the Pops Internet-blogger chart.

(The currently "no-number" Mat Cendana aka cendana287 of the "Recovery" site thinks the Number One is Tun Dr Mahathir; 2 - Anwar Ibrahim; 3- Lim Kit Siang. Try doing comparison tests at Alexa.com. Korang pergi buat sendiri lah; aku dah buat baru ni tapi tak save results dia)

Or perhaps he is the current Number Four; if the general public without Internet access (or inclination) is also taken into consideration. This is especially so after he made it to the print and electronic media after being picked up by the police in Kota Bharu, reportedly for the "Fly Malaysia flag upside down" campaign.

With due respects to Rocky Bru (and others like Susan Loone etc), just how many folks in Mukim Kangkong, Pasir Mas would know this name or that of Ahirudin Attan?:-)

So when Sheih comes up with something that hints of shady goings-on involving Najib, his wife Rosmah and the missing private investigator in his post We Know What Najib and Spouse Did Last Raya, you can bet it will receive a lot of attention.

And the reactions covered the whole range of the continuum - from doe-eyed devotion and feverish support once reserved for idol RPK to outright abuses, insinuations and claims against Kickdefella. This, and not the allegations, is what Mat Cendana - the amateur psychologist and social & political student, wishes to explore. In Part 2 of this `later'.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to everyone. And THANKS for coming over to my humble, still-unknown site/blog ... to Husin Lempoyang, Sakmongkol AK47 and Bakaq Penarik Beca (THANKS for the Clicks coming from your sites) ... Special Greetings to Nazmi and wife Sherry (his-lah, not mine), children and family in Chenor, Temerloh. Masa balik, dan kalau ada masa, tolong ambik gambar yang Gambang tu, ye? Setakat signboard "Stop Oil" pun dah tak apa... 

Update 10AM: There is this evaluation by Malaysian Insider of "why Najib would be a GREAT PM" (or something like that) here: But this trend can be bucked when Najib takes over the mantle of UMNO and the leadership of the country in March. He can turn many of the non-believers around. How? By concentrating on what is good for the country and not his political party. By being:-

1. unconventional in his thinking.
2. By avoiding safe choices.
3. By being decisive.

Read what Sakmongkol AK47 thinks about it in A Question of Leadership. Oh, if you didn't know it already, Sakmongkol is someone "who knows stuff about Najib" - a lot better and with more depth than possibly 99.287% of us here.

Update 2PM: Just received SMS alert from Star that O.J. Simpson has been found GUILTY of kidnap and robbery. Wonder what the verdict will be for those three fellows now on trial in the Mongolian's case ... And what might be the fate and fortune of "the guy" mentioned in Kickdefella's post...? "Which guy? The PI? Or the Pekan guy? Or... the Kota Bharu guy?"

Update 5 Oct 6.30AM: Rocky Bru also has a post about this matter in rocky's bru: Hail a new King? It's time for me to write Part 2 (Had spent last night... sleeping! Yes, I'm a time-waster...)

Blogger.com Profile: Abdullah Ahmad Cendawi of "Badawi's Bru"

"No more Mister Nice Guy!"  The Umno president and Prime Minister - long the target of scathing criticism by predecessor Tun Dr Mahathir in the latter's hugely popular CheDet.com blog - has become a blogger himself!

The New York Times, in an exclusive report says Abdullah - using the nickname of "Dollah Cendawi" - will use the blog world as a defensive and offensive weapon with his site that is named "Badawi's Bru: Addicted to Putrajaya".

It is learnt the site was previously known as Cendana Blues: Addicted to Politics. This blog was started by "New Age, Cutting edge, Off the edge" investigative journalist-cum-fiction writer `orang kampung' Mat Cendana, whose journalistic standards and ethics are best described by the Air Asia-derived slogan of "Now everyone can lie".

Caption: "Dollah Cendawi", the proud owner of "Badawi's Bru", with his blog's mascot - "It symbolises me". Huh? Anyway, he intends to overtake CheDet.com and Rocky's Bru `soon', with the help of the reclusive and anonymous Mat Cendana (below). The double-album that is Mat Cendana's favourite; and "is him"...   

  As it is, Dollah Cendawi is now studying Tun Mahathir's latest post - HUMAN MEMORY. It is believed that the former "Mister Clean" will come out with all guns blazing. Stay tuned!

*UPDATE 2 Oct 10.47 PM: Looks like Lim Kit Siang has started a post which shows "What Badawi had said" and "What Badawi did". Or, "did not do": “Prime Minister for all Malaysians” - Abdullah’s greatest failure

UPDATE 3 Oct 7.21 PM: This Lim Kit Siang guy tak ada kerja betul! He's made yet another post of Abdullah: To be or not to be? ... siap dengan Shakespeare lagi! Fulamak... So, who will these fellows pour scorn on when I, Lah Cendawi, am no longer PM? Oh, "On whoever becomes the PM, naturally..."