How to `Putarbelit' the Sex Video - *FREE*, Unsolicited Advice!

The "Perut Buncit Sex Video" has revealed one thing since it first surfaced: what a bunch of bumbling incompetents the Pakatan Rakyat leaders and supporters are with their pathetic attempts to deny!

But have no fear, Mat Cendana is here!®™ (Note that the sentence rhymes). 
I feel bad about using him as my favourite `modal' here; so now I'm going to make amends by helping Anwar wriggle out of this mess (By the way, despite the title, "it doesn't have to be free..." Know what I mean? Tapi kalu dah cheapskate sangat tu, nak buat macamana.)

Firstly, Anwar should pretend to be calm and collected despite the noose tightening around his neck... and not losing his cool when a journalist asked him about the "kept by Wan Azizah Omega". Live Life Cool


What a mess Anwar has made! And the attempts by Wan Azizah to help her husband have actually resulted in the noose being further tightened... the "watch is in my possession", the "I have watched the video and it is not Anwar" etc  etc. Anwar needs a pro (bukan `gro' ye) to help him, and that's ME (Slot angkat bakul sendiri).

The Sex Video -- It's no use denying his part in it anymore. That short clip posted on YouTube: if you've seen it, at the very best (or "worse", depending on which side you're on), you can only say "It bears a very striking resemblance to Anwar, BUT isn't him". Unfortunately, there aren't too many people who look like him, so that means.... So, "Anwar has to make lemonade from what he has now"; and I'm going to help him with that! (Eh, TEPUK lah sikit, aku jadi hero ni!)

Putar #1 -- "What is wrong with Anwar having sex with his own wife?!"


"HUH?? But the woman in the video isn't Wan Azizah!", you might say.
No, she isn't... that is Anwar's second wife.

Anwar will hold a press conference to announce that the `perut buncit'  is indeed him. And then make this sensational revelation:

"Her name is Yew So Syiok @ Nurul Anggun Mekar Kembang Abdullah from Guangdong, China. She was involved in immoral activities and I, being a former ABIM president who is very warak, wanted to save her. I berjaya dakwah dia...convert 20 Feb, kahwin hari sama di Sungai Golok...21 Feb balik honeymoon di Malaysia. BEST jugak Heheh!"

Now, Anwar has to be prepared for the pesky questions... things like the Surat Nikah etc:

"Unfortunately, I lost it. Semasa nak menyeberang balik ke Rantau Panjang, I sewa sampan. Tiba-tiba jadi tsunami; surat nikah tu hanyut. Nasib baik I selamat. Tak sempat nak mintak another copy sebab tak sabar nak balik KL. Maklum lah baru-baru kahwin ni kan HAHA!" (Kena buat joke sikit, baru lah ada `ice-breaking' dengan wartawan)

 (To be continued Putar #2-100... kalau aku rajin & tak ada kerja lain)