Thursday, 30 September 2010

Sex (luar tabie) And The City

EXCLUSIVE! -- PKR is launching a new smartphone brand AND entering the entertainment world!

These are the real stories behind the chaotic PKR division elections, which were missed by the mainstream media, alternative media and bloggers…

“Think under, over and through the box”, plus verification from the renowned Lempoyang News Agency, helped bring to light these covert PKR plans to “build on their experience and know-how in politics” to expand into the telecommunications and entertainment world.

image

PKR secretary-general Saifuddin Nasu­tion had described the disturbances at several division meetings `as teething problems’. However, the media had failed to thoroughly scrutinise the following statement:

 

Video recordings via mobile phones show the disturbance was caused by individuals who are not party members.”

 

Now, which mobile phone in the market can do that? No, not in merely recording video, which even my cheapo RM230 Nokia 2630 can do. But the ability to recognise faces, which Saifuddin had accidentally blurted out, is something new - We’re talking cutting-edge technology here!

 

And then there’s the massive database which PKR must be possessing. Saifuddin had confidently declared that they were not party members. He didn’t limit this to just “PKR members” – they were also not from Umno, Pas, Dap, SUPP, Likud, Social Democrat, Congress Party, Republican etc. PKR has the record of everyone in the world and their pictures… and the mobile device to utilise the data!

 

After investigating, we have received information that it’s an advanced model of the HTC Desire. PKR has named the brand as TIVOLI  and the first model – the TIVOLI s.377 Desire - will hit the market in the near future. The brandname `TIVOLI’ is chosen “due to sentimental reasons”.

 

pkr-htc_t

 

 

 

 

CAPTION: Smartphone made by PKR with HTC’s help – the Android-based  TIVOLI Desire s.377. People in the rural area will probably call it the “Handset Luar Tabie” due to its features.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By coincidence or intent, the number refers to `something’ in the Penal Code aka Kanun Keseksaan… which makes the word `Desire’ even more intriguing. Right now only a few selected leaders at PKR have this phone, including the person who had recorded the video and processed the images through the massive database.

 

pkr-donking

COMING SOON: *PKR in talks with legendary boxing promoter, Don King to organise and sell rights to its meetings and elections.

* Watch out for the new reality show “Who Wants To Be A COFFEE BOY”

 

 

pkr-branson

 

 

And Richard Branson essentially says “Anwar is a jolly good fellow…”  Ye ke? Apasal yang good sangat ni hal Anwar? Erm, ada kena-mengena dengan gambar Branson ni ke? Heheh!

 

 

5 comments:

Kenn said...

Dear MC,

The moment Karpal Singh read your entry here, I believe, he will quickly summon Anwar Ibrahim to discuss at which angle they can use this Android-based TIVOLI Desire s.377 smartphone to further postphone the "lewat" (is my spelling correct?) case next. (latest being Article 152 of the Federal Constitution).

Mat Cendana said...

@Kenn - Actually they already have a couple of `modal' lined up to appeal and counter-appeal; and try to delay the trial until 2012...the desperate hope that it would be the "16 September".

One of the `grounds' is that, the judge's socks "aren't really black" (just charcoal black, which "isn't pure black" and therefore "illegal". The other one is that the judge should have worn a Goldilocks-like wig and not a songkok.

Kenn said...

ha! ha! anything goes!

patungcendana said...

:-)

ondastreet said...

Mat,
I think it has been "decades" since last I dropped my comments.

Anyway, I think it is a little bit funny on this PKR's election. Why? The security measures taken and electorial matters seems to be not being handled properly..

and it is easy as ABC to put the blame on UMNO..

Very funny indeed...

Is this the party that leading the Pakatan? Is this the party where the next PM will come from?

Hmm...

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